Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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