pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
