Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
