How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
