Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
