she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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