would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
