Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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