His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
