you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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