dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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