even the AIR tastes like tequila.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
