I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
