for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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