I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
