pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i believe in u and ur pee
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
