I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
