you traded sex for a burrito?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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