May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
