should my penis look like a turkey
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
