should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
