I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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