Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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