lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
