Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need water and some morals
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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