so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
