i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
