I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
