You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
