Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
