Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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