i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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