i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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