Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
