I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
