I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
