On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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