its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
