Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
