You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
