You're completely useless in the revolution.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
