Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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