Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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