well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
