i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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