Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
