Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
