We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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