Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He did a backflip because drugs
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