Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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